July 19, 2013
Montreal, Canada
Gurudev, I want to be honest with my parents about my sexuality.
Yet my fear of losing their love and support has been stopping me from being
honest with them. Do I need to be compassionate and not burden my parents?
Please guide me to a solution.
Sri Sri: You don’t have to label yourself as gay or a lesbian. You don’t
need to put on a label. These are tendencies which come and go.
You should label yourself as Divine light. This label is much better than
putting a label about your sexuality because it may change.
Many people get married and after that they discover that they have different
tendencies. And for many gay people, sometime later, even their preferences
change. I have seen many gay people and lesbians getting married, settling in
life and having kids. I have seen the other way also. So all possibilities are
open. What is the need for you to right away label yourself? There are some who
are bisexual.
What
are you going to achieve by telling your parents? Is it going to make them any
happier? When they are not going to be happy, what is the point in telling them
about it? You think about it.
Honesty
is one thing. First you should be honest to yourself. What is your state right
now? Be honest with yourself. You don’t have to pretend and be what you are
not, at the same time you don’t have to put a bomb where people cannot accept
it. Tell them gradually. Prepare them.
You
have to study the situation. How fragile are your parents? How unhappy are they
already and how much more unhappy they will become by your saying that? Is it
worth being that honest to them and making them miserable? You need to judge
all these pros and cons.
Suppose
your parents are forcing you to get married then you tell them, 'No, I have no
interest in this, I have a different interest'. Otherwise why do you have tell
them?
Be honest at such times, otherwise you will make another person's life (who you
marry) miserable. If your mother is already very aged and is burdened with a
lot of other things and you be honest just for your pride and tell her
something, and she loses her night’s sleep and it affects her health, what is
the point. What does it serve?
In
the ancient system it has been beautifully said, 'Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat
na bruyat satyam apriyam', speak the truth but speak the pleasant truth. Don’t
speak unpleasant truth and don’t speak pleasant lies.
Something may be pleasant, but if it is a lie, don’t speak that. Don’t speak
unpleasant truth or pleasant lies. This is the ancient path. The perfect
balance.
So
use your sense of discrimination and gently prepare them if you want to tell
them, and if it’s going to serve some purpose.
Rise above the body consciousness. Know that you are light. You’re
scintillating consciousness. Every cell of your body is awakened with consciousness,
light, love and life. Focus on that.
Can you please tell us about Narayana. Who and what is Narayana?
Sri Sri: Narayana is not a person. Narayana is the consciousness
which is present in the human nervous system. Narayana is made up of
light; a body that is made up of light. When you become totally hollow and
empty, you incorporate that light body within you, and that is Narayana. That
is why when anyone sees a monk in India they say'Namo Narayana', I
adore the Narayana in you.
Now
where is Narayana?
Narayana is in a king, because a king is the collective consciousness. He is
not supposed to think about himself but he has to think about the entire
country and all the people, and maintain them. So because of the love and
compassion that a king has for his own people, he is elevated to the level of
Narayana; the pure light.
Then
it is said, Vaidya Narayana. A doctor is Narayana.
A doctor while treating his patient does not think of how much he is earning.
His total concern is in the well-being of the person. Narayana is in every
doctor, every doctor is Narayana.
Who
else is Narayana? (Audience says: The husband)
Yes, if he’s totally committed to the family, and if he is there for his wife.
The wife has to consider him Narayana! He cannot proclaim himself to be
Narayana. (Laughter) The husband maintains the whole family and he
doesn’t want anything for himself. He wants for everybody. So he is a Narayana.
A
saint is Narayana because a saint wants the welfare of everybody. A doctor is
Narayana. A selfless king is a Narayana. Guru is Narayana. A teacher is
Narayana. A guest who comes over is also Narayana because Narayana comes in
many forms.
Anyone who helps you in need without any selfish motive is called Apath
Narayana. A Narayana who comes in when there is a problem is Apath
Narayana.
There
is one more term called Daridra Narayana. One who
doesn’t have anything, one who is poor, he is a Narayana without money (Lakshmi).
So when you do charity, see that he (the poor man) is Narayana and do charity,
and don't see him as a worm out there and do charity. So do charity also with a
sense of sacredness. See even the poorest and the less fortunate ones as
Narayana.
So
you can see Narayana in a miserable person, Narayana in a doctor, in a saint,
in the head of the family and in a king. They are all Narayana. Everywhere is
Narayana.
In the Narayana Upanishads it is very beautifully said, 'Narayana is in the
front, at the back, on the sides, on top and at the bottom. Narayana is
everywhere!'
Narayana Parojyotih Atmanarayanah Parah
Narayana
is the Brahman (divinity). Narayana is the atma (soul), the Self in
you. Narayana is the light. This entire universe is existing in a milky ocean
and that ocean is called Narayana.
How do we get rid of our mind after death?
Sri Sri: There is no way you can get rid of it. If you want to know how to
get rid of the mind, it can happen only when you have a body. You can’t get rid
of the mind afterwards.
Why is devotion a necessary part of enlightenment? Is there
conflict between detachment and devotion?
Sri Sri: Devotion is the juice of life.
Why do you want to love anybody in the world? Imagine life without love. It is
like being a robot. Devotion adds flavor and makes life richer.
When was the last time you felt sorrow or sadness and what was
your experience with letting it go?
Sri Sri: Every time I see someone miserable, I feel it. I feel for them.
They could have been much happier. For no reason they are miserable.
The
recent tsunami in the Himalayas was a very tragic one. Our Art of Living
volunteers are there and are working day and night. They are providing food,
clothing, shelter, and medical care. The army and police appreciated our Art of
Living volunteers. They said that we army people get tired but these
volunteers, young boys and girls are working from morning till night. They are
doing all this with a smile.
They were completely blown away! How can you do so much with a smile? So our
volunteers also taught them meditation.
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