August 04, 2012
Bangalore, India
Q: Dear Gurudev, love, respect and attachment, how are these three connected. How we can we keep these in balance in relationships?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I think you have too much free time. You should get busy.
Do not sit and worry. Love, respect, all these feelings and emotions remain in you. When your heart and mind are clear, then the right emotions will come at the right time.
Love, respect – all these happen. You cannot make it happen. You cannot make respect come into you. If you make an effort to feel love or respect, it will be a failure. So, all that you can do is free yourself from stress and have wisdom in the mind.
Wisdom is seeing the world from a bigger perspective.
I am not this – that is what Asangoham means. For example, I am wearing the cloth, but I am not the cloth. The body is mine but I am not the body. I am not the thoughts, I am not the mind. Like this you go on to negate one by one all the layers of identity. And finally when you ask, ‘Who am I?’ You will find nothing!
See what is temporary and what is permanent. All the opinions of people are temporary. They come and they go. This you must remember. Do not crave for respect. Some people give respect, some do not, it is fine. It is their choice. But if your life depends on respect from others then you are a weak person. You will feel weakened more and more, and when you are weak, you will be miserable.
You should know that you do not need anybody to respect you. ‘My respect is with me, I do not need anyone to respect me’, that is it.
So when you go back from here, that does not mean you behave disrespectfully. You give respect, but do not expect respect in return.
Sometimes people will not have even a little respect. That is how they are, never mind. If others do not give you respect, never mind. It shows their culture, their evolution.
If you are highly evolved, you will always respect everybody. Whether they are sane or insane, you will respect them. Then you will respect even the insane people because it is in your nature. You see them as a part of this Creation. They belong to the Creation, to Divinity. So when you respect everybody that shows how much wiser you are.
Expecting respect shows our weakness and giving respect to people irrespective of who they are or what their standards are shows our wisdom.
Love is a basic substratum of this Creation. It can never disappear. It is always there. Again, give love and it will come back to you a million times more.
Q: Why does the Infinity keep its anonymity?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: So that you can seek that.
When you long for it then you seek. And the seeking itself is so beautiful.
Longing for the Divine, longing for the highest is in itself so beautiful. That is why longing is called Radha. Radha means longing, and Shyam means love. Longing and love go together. If there is no longing, there cannot be love. And if there is love, there has to be longing. They go together.
Q: Dear Gurudev, kindly explain the meaning of Asangoham (a phrase often chanted by Gurudev in the advanced course).
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I am not this – that is what Asangoham means. For example, I am wearing the cloth, but I am not the cloth.
The body is mine but I am not the body. I am not the thoughts, I am not the mind. Like this you go on to negate one by one all the layers of identity. And finally when you ask, ‘Who am I?’ You will find nothing!
‘I am nothing, I am just the space.’ That is what Asangoham is.
Sangoham means being one with it. If I think I am my clothes, then that is a problem. I am beyond all these layers of existence.
If I think that I am my thoughts, my emotions, my sensations then I lose track of my vast nature. Therefore to reach the realization of our vastness we say, ‘I am not this and I am not this’, repeatedly.
(Gurudev sings) Mano Budhyahankaar Chittani Naaham, Na Cha Shrotra Jihve Na Cha Ghraana netre Na Cha Vyoma Bhumir Na Tejo Na Vayuh, Chidananda Rupah Shivoham Shivoham - From the Atmashtakam (By Adi Shankaracharya)
I am not the mind, intellect, memory or ego. I am not this, not this, not this. This is the way of negating and going into that hollow and empty space. This Shiva Tattva is what I really am. This realization is what meditation is; that is Samadhi.
Q: Dear Gurudev, a few days back you spoke about the significance of Gayatri Mantra. Can you please tell us the importance of initiation that is done before chanting the Gayatri mantra?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, initiation before using a mantra is essential. Only then does the mantra get charged. You cannot merely chant a mantra by reading it from a book. It has to be received from someone who has already been chanting it.
Love, respect – all these happen. You cannot make it happen. You cannot make respect come into you. If you make an effort to feel love or respect, it will be a failure. So, all that you can do is free yourself from stress and have wisdom in the mind.
Q: Gurudev, what is the solution for the unbearable pain because of the love towards you? What to do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Start writing; some poems may come. Start working on some projects. Do service (seva); teach and dwell in knowledge. All this will help bring the creativity out of longing.
Q: My dear Gurudev, whenever I look into my heart I find you there. You have hooked me, booked me and cooked me. Please tell me what dish you are trying to make out of me.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Listen! You are wonderful, you are so complete and that is how you could feel that intense emotion.
One who does not have the bhaav (intense feeling) cannot even enjoy the bliss, and cannot enjoy peace. If someone is stuck in the intellect, their life remains dry. Neither do they have any peace nor any love or bliss. When there is no bliss, desires and cravings will hound a person. So it is fortunate to have both.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says, ‘Nasti buddhir ayuktasya na chayuktasya bhavana, Na chabhavayatah shantir ashantasya kutah sukham’- (Chapter 2, Verse 66).
One who is not united with the spirit, he neither has intellect nor does he have the intense feelings. And if you do not have intense feelings, there is neither peace nor bliss for you.
This is so true.
So I am sure that when you are cooking well, you are going to be a treasure for the world. You will be a gift to everybody.
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