Why Acceptance Is Important In Relationships

Sun, 07/26/2015 Qubec, Canada

You know medical science is evolving. At one point of time, people were told antibiotics are good, but now it's said they are not so good. At one point of time, a whole generation left this planet thinking butter is very bad for your heart, but last year, in June, an article in the TIME magazine said that doctors now say butter is good for your heart! (laughter)

Someone asked me, "I am a nurse; I feel so agitated and tired. Will meditation help me?"
Definitely, it will help. What we need today is a holistic medicine. Doctors are now admitting that there are certain things which can be cured by alternative means such as yoga, meditation, breathing exercises. Also some herbs can go a long way in bringing better heath.

You know, in the Bangalore Ashram (The Art of Living International Center), we have one of the best Ayurvedic hospitals and an Ayurvedic medical college. Many people who have the problem of varicose veins, to whom doctors say that you have to operate the knee, just come here for one week and they’re fine - no operation needed! People become so fit and they start running.

We want to bring this sort of education and these treatments to people all over. I know so many people here in Quebec have arthritis and varicose veins. You should stop worrying. It’s the worry that makes the problem worse. Why do you worry? One day everyone is going to go under the ground. You shouldn’t wait for that day to be peaceful. Some people say, "May your soul rest in peace", we should be in peace vertically not horizontally! (laughter)

Dearest Gurudev, how can I be a strong leader and also not hurt others' feelings?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You know, strength does not mean aggressiveness. Today, aggression is being misunderstood as a sign of strength, but it is not so. You can see that school children and college boys and girls feel that if they are aggressive, then they are leaders, and they are strong. No! I consider aggression as a sign of weakness. Anger is a sign of weakness.

You know, whatever is in your capacity, you do not get angry about it. What you cannot do, or when you find something difficult to do, only then you get angry, right? So, anger and aggression are not signs of heroism, they are signs of weakness.

This is what they mostly show in the movies — anger and aggression, and children get bombarded with these impressions and they think this is the way of life. We must change this, don’t you think so? Instead, friendliness and happiness should be signs of strength.

I would say, every child and every youth should make one new friend every day. Life is so short. There is not enough time to spread happiness, love and harmony. Why do we waste this time with aggression, anger and fight? Misunderstandings crop up, it is a normal and natural phenomena, whoever it is, maybe your best friends, there will be some misunderstanding. Between husband and wife, there will be some misunderstanding. Between parents and children, there are misunderstandings happening. Wisdom is to rise above it. We get so upset and angry because we don’t leave room for imperfections. We should leave a little room for imperfection.

You know, you keep a garbage can at the house so that you can put any garbage in the can. Suppose you think there should be no corner for the garbage can at home, do you know what will happen? There will be garbage everywhere, in the whole house! So, this is why we must leave some space for imperfections. If someone is imperfect, just accommodate them. In due course of time, they’ll change. This will increase your tolerance level. You know, today, this is what we lack very seriously. People are becoming less and less tolerant. Look at the older generation, how calm and tolerant they are. And look at the other generation - how intolerant they are becoming! This is the case all over the world: in the East, West, North, and South, everywhere.
See how Montreal was 30 years ago when I came, and how it is now? There is a big difference, isn't it? Crime is increasing and the reason for crime is lack of tolerance.

I heard about an incident in Mexico. There were two taxi drivers and they got into an argument at the traffic light. They got out of their cars, took their guns and shot each other, while the passengers were sitting in the taxi! I thought, my God, this is too much. So, we started a program in Mexico and I tell you, it has transformed so many thousands of lives. Now, the Government of Mexico has asked us to teach 150,000 students.
I happened to meet several of the Senators, the Congressmen of Mexico, and they all want the Happiness Program in their county. Now we need more teachers.

There are many kids living on the streets in the cities. What can be done to get them off the streets?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

Is it here in Canada? We should do some program for those kids. We should bring them here to the Ashram maybe, and they can do some gardening and get rid of all the bad habits.

You know in India, we have 421 schools and about 48,000 kids are given free food and education. It's total transformation of these street kids. We have two orphanages in Sri Lanka also. Sister Concilia is here from Sri Lanka. She is also an Art of Living teacher and she has done such good work after the war in Sri Lanka. She went around and did a lot of work with all the other teachers and volunteers. She has also written a nice book called 'The Spirit Blows Where it Wills'.

Gurudev, I know I am a very bad person but I want to be good. Please help me.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

No, you are not a bad person. The moment you want to be good, you have already started becoming good. Whatever you think as bad in you is only in the outer circumference that can be easily removed. Deep inside, you are a good person and believe that you are a good person. Don’t think you are a bad person and cement that idea. From now on, you should say that you are a good person. You might have done some bad things in the past but that is irrelevant.

Many nurses are suffering from stress and would readily benefit from having a meditation centre. I want to have a meditation centre in Toronto General Hospital but the approval has not come.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You know, it takes some time for people to come out of the old, closed mindset. So you keep at it and keep convincing them. Recently, there was a research done in Toronto or London, where they found that the remission of depression was 14% with all drugs and medicines, but with the Sahaj meditation, it was 64%.

During the silence program, do we continue to smile at others or do we not maintain eye contact?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

You can definitely smile. Silence does not mean keeping a long face. This silence is not the silence of mourning. The silence is that of joy. So, you should keep smiling . In fact, you will automatically start smiling. You don’t have to make an effort for it.

If all members of both the teams in a soccer match strongly believe in God and pray for victory before the match starts, why does one team win and the other lose?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

God likes to do everything indirectly, not directly. So, he gives one team the privilege ofgiving the gift of winning to the other team because the joy in getting is small, but the joy in giving is greater.

We all came to the world with the joy of having things, but when we leave this world, we should have experienced the joy of contributing and giving back to the society. That is a mature joy, the real joy.

Ask grandmothers how much they enjoy when they give to the kids. God knows that there is greater joy in giving, and so he makes one team give the gift of winning to the other team. Either you win or you make others win, that’s all. You know, Jesus has said, “The meek will inherit the world”, and that’s what it is, the loser gets the greater joy.